a painful disorientation

I must admit that a combination of feeling totally drained and exhausted, with a
subsequent nocturnal pattern of discomforted sleeplessness, didn’t bode well for
this new day. Bearing this introit to the day in mind, I shouldn’t have been
unduly surprised by the morning’s turn of events. After a familiar lazy start to
the day, emerging at around 10.30am from the duvet lair, I decided to venture
down to Open Church for coffee and conversation. Although it’s only about a ten
minute slow walk, I already felt quite tired on arrival, a dull bruised ache
across the chest at collar bone level being sustained against an erratic
cramping counterpoint from the abdomen, provided a somewhat disconcerting
background to an overall sense of light-headed giddiness. Suddenly, apparently
out of nowhere, there emerged floods of tears from yours truly, an involuntary
response to an all pervasive fearful sense of disorientation.

A generalized sense of disorientation and  bodily discomfort,spasmodic griping
cramps in the abdomen, and a head best described as a bruised hollow floating
dysfunctional globe of giddyness – had already provided the keynote (for
considerable portions) of the past several days. On top of that, a sharply
bruised tenderness around the ribcage (dx costochondritis) has done little to
encourage any real sense of well-being. In fact my whole colonoscopy debacle
(recorded by my OH, as ‘My beloved’s bad experience’, on her Bright Light blog) seems to have caused a general setback healthwise; of course the timing may be completely
coincidental.

I have an appointment at my GP’s surgery this afternoon for a general checkup.

**********************

PS 5.12PM I saw my GP this afternoon who gave me a general maintainance check via stethoscope & sphygmomanometer and he feels that it was a panic attack alongside all my old familiar aches and pains. He has also given me a booklet ‘Panic : a self help guide’ and a mental health questionnaire as well as arranging a follow up appointment in 10 or 11 days time.

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