There are times that one
simply forgets the sundry aches that flesh is heir to yet, quite strangely, it’s
more difficult to forget just how exhausted one feels. Perhaps this is really a
blessing as it’s far easier to accept a persistently low stamina level than to
acknowledge that pain too can be a constant companion.
That having been said, I
am fortunate in only experiencing a moderate degree of either pain or fatigue,
compared to my peak experiences of the past few years. To be quite honest, I
have never been a great enthusiast for the notion of normality (it always seemed
such a boring option) but, what a relief it is to experience more of a normal
life than my mind or body ever anticipated returning to.
Come to think of it, the
normal world is pretty frustrating, a world in which I overreact to the filthy
conniving practises not only of politicians but also banks, insurance companies
and all these everyday services we have to cope with. There was a time when I
could have discussions and arguments about politics, religion, even the arts,
purely for pleasure; these days I find frustration with the hard sell tactics
of banks (and other service industries) leave me feeling physically sick. The
pressure of routine dealings with commercial organizations brings out a life
On the other hand,
watching the birds feed in the garden, feeding the fish in both pond and aquarium
and basking in the company of my beloved, are all conducive to affirmation.